Monthly Archives: September 2008

How to eat spaghetti – a tutorial

Ahem!  Oh, excuse me folks, I was right in the middle of eating!  Apparently my mom thinks you all need a tutorial in the consuming of spaghetti.  I thought that being adults you’d all know by now how to do this properly and am shocked that you need a refresher course.  It’s been going around that you’ve all fallen away from your middle… err… inner child and I am here to remind you what exactly that little being in your head wants you to do with your spaghetti!

This really isn’t rocket science and your average joe can perform this type of maneuver.  You don’t need a degree in physics for goodness sakes! 

As the spaghetti noodle dangles, you must raise your fork high enough that it will easily fall in to your mouth.  If you do not have complete control over your own fork, be sure that your handler will perform this task as requested.

I’m watching you now… there you go… uh huh… you’ve got it!  Just do as I do and there will be success.

You may now slurp the noodles into your mouth but if that doesn’t work too well you may now use your hand to help.

What is that giggling I hear!?  This is serious folks!  You must pay attention if you’re going to master this skill.

Now that I have your attention again… The nice thing about using your hands is that you’ll most likely have some sauce left on them for painting on the countertop or table.  I want your hands good and dirty like this. 

I recommend a swift motion from left to right, but which ever way you want to do it is fine.  Being artwork, there is no wrong way to do it; it is left up to your own interpretation.

Now go forth, eat spaghetti, let you inner child embrace the sauce and enjoy!  Call me if you have any concerns or questions.  I’m always available when you need me most.

Wanted – Deck Hand, Marina del Rey

Hard working deck hand wanted on a small yacht in Marina del Rey.  Beautiful scenery makes up for light pay.  Hard work and not afraid to jump in in get your hands dirty is highly regarded.  Must be able to put up with lots of… Well nevermind.  Fun job, good for few people.